September

Many people see January 1st as a new start for their lives. Toss the crap from the previous year and move forward, get it on the calendar, make a change. I’ve tried to make resolutions and goals and adopt a positive attitude come January 1st. It doesn’t work for me because January is an absolute dreadful time of year where I live. I am constantly cold and tired, it’s dark when I get up and dark when I go to bed.  Everything is shades of brown and gray, and we are often plagued by a valley phenomenon known as an inversion – when the pollution, fog  and freezing air gets trapped down in the valley for days on end. There is seemingly nothing positive about January. Winter seems infinite, the fun of the holidays is over, and I have to go back to work with no vacation in sight.

Today at lunch, I walked out into the September sun, which felt delightful –  not scorching as it has been for the last month – and was reminded how very much I love September. For a lot of people I know, September is depressing – summer vacation and all the fun activities that go with it is over, winter weather is on its way, and there is nothing to look forward to. For me, September is my “new year.” I associate it with a new start. Maybe I’m still living in my glory days, associating the change of seasons with the new school year, a chance to start fresh with new friends, new activities, and renewed sense of focus for learning. I love the shift in sunlight that seems to happen overnight, the cool mornings that smell of campfires, and the still warm days that are perfect weather for any activity under the sun.

Today I felt happy, inspired even, to make a change. I’m not sure what that change is. I have a growing list of interests to “look into” someday. Or maybe it’s a change in mentality. My life has become stagnant and unfulfilling (except that of my family, thank God for them), and my emotions have been on a roller coaster for two years. Make that a super loop. Roller coasters at least have ups, my emotions just go round and round in an endless circle. I need a change.

Regardless of what that change is, as summer shifts to winter, something in me shifted today too. I have a hopeful heart when I think about the future. I’m excited for the holidays, for growing my family, watching my son get older. I’m not feeling dreadful about the endless days of meaningless work or the fear of not having enough money.  I know something in my life will shift, and the pieces will come together.

Happy New Year!

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