Choosing to be Happy

I often wonder, am I the only person in the world that has the problems I have? No way. Millions and billions of other people have the same worries, fears and anxieties that I do. Why then do other people seem, at least by outward appearances, to be happy and functional? When I share with someone whatever I’ve been ruminating about, even if it’s someone who I know shares in my struggles, that person often looks at me like I rode in on a pair of wild hogs (thank you to my father-in-law for my new favorite saying).

I guess other people just don’t obsessively think about things the way I do, hence the surprised looks. Sometimes I find myself dissecting problems bit by bit and rolling them over and over until my brain literally hurts and I am physically drained. Obsessive brooding isn’t good. Obsessively searching for answers you may never find is not good. I don’t really think obsessing is ever a good thing. It tends to make one small problem feel all-encompassing. Look at this post for example – I’m obsessing about obsessing. Ha!

I am going to try to be more like other happy people and not analyze every single thing to the point of making me nuts. Because I love to make lists, here is a list of new rules for myself:

1. I will not read too much into emails and texts and constantly worry that the sender is mad at me.

2. I will not go round and round in my mind about my money-work-kids issue, trying to constantly think of a way to have enough money without working.

3. I will not google every single thought or worry that pops into my mind, spend hours reading chat boards on the topic and then come to the conclusion that everything I’ve just read is true, and then obsess even more about it.

4. I will not look outside of myself for answers about myself. No one else knows me or cares about me more than I do, so it’s up to me.

5. I will put one foot in front of the other and just do what needs to be done without too much introspection.

6. I will trust that God/universe has a plan, and it is not necessary for me to figure out all the answers.

7. I will take pleasure, not guilt, in things that make me happy. I will accept that things will go wrong, but that doesn’t mean I am destined to be unhappy.

8. I will do what works and stop second guessing myself.

A little bit of ignorance is bliss!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Linda
    Jul 13, 2011 @ 20:17:36

    I like #7 best. That has certainly done wonders for my own peace of mind. (Or is that piece of mind?…am I obsessing?) Be careful about making too many rules for yourself. They become that much more to fuss over and then kick yourself for not living up to them. None of us ever live up to everything we expect of ourselves. Glad to see you posting again. I don't know how your find the time. My hat is off to you!


  2. Mandee Jewell
    Jul 13, 2011 @ 20:45:08

    Hopefully #7 doesn't turn into a self-justification to eat fast food more than I should :)I try to only make rules for myself that are going to improve my happiness. I like these rules – they remind me to stay centered and trust myself. I've stopped making rules that make me miserable (like MUST weigh 130 pounds, never eat treats, etc.)


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